“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
-Gandhi
How many times have you heard this quote?
As cliché as it is, I don’t think we really understand what it means. It’s on countless websites. Buttons, t-shirts, bumper stickers and political posters. I’ve even sat in on meetings where it’s been an agenda item. But the truth is, I’ve rarely seen it practiced.
Whether I’m hanging with women who want to make a difference with their business, activists who want to change the world or healers who want to share their gifts, I’ve noticed a common mistake: We’re so focused on “doing” the change work, we have no time to “be the change.”
We forget to take care of ourselves first.
Why does it matter?
Some people argue that “taking care of themselves” is a luxury they can’t afford. After all, the world is a mess. Every 2 minutes, someone is assaulted. Wars are being waged around the world. The glaciers are melting. In the midst of that, we’ve got to put food on the table, pay our rent and be nice to the people around us so they can nice to us. The stress and worry we feel is real.
But this picture leaves out one important point: we’re running ourselves ragged.
Isn’t what we really want FREEDOM? Freedom to be loved and accepted for who we are? To be respected for the gifts we have to share? To be able to live life on our own terms? If we’re too TIRED to CREATE this freedom, it’s not going to happen.
To make it happen, we need to tap into a source deep enough to feed our dreams and ideas. That source is self-care.
“Being the change” through self-care
How do you feel when you think of “self-care”? Guilty? Self-indulgent? Ashamed that you haven’t managed to wake up at 6am everyday to meditate or made it to that yoga class yet?
I feel you.
That’s why I want to re-define “self-care”. And spell out what it means beyond manicures, massages and spa days.
I’m talking about caring enough to tell yourself the truth about where you are and where you want to be. Caring enough to map out the distance between those two points and get ready for the journey and then find a compass to keep you on track. I’d like to call that compass your self-care plan.
Who has time for that?
I know, I know. Just the thought of a self-care plan is stressing you out, huh? Who needs another thing to add to the “to-do” list?
Think about it this way. What is it costing you not to have a self-care plan?
It’s like you’re trying to grow a tree but don’t want to take the time to till the soil. If we don’t deal with the worms eating our roots or figure out if there’s any harmful pesticide in the ground, our tree will only grow but so tall.
Creating your individual self-care plans will help you get down and dirty with your stuff. You’ll weed out what’s not working, lovingly massage the desires with your bare hands and plant new ideas that will finally be able to grow beyond your wildest dreams.
Do you have time for that? Let me know what you think in the comments below!
My coaching challenge: Make a list of all the things you LOVE to do that don’t cost you a lot of money or time. Everything from listening to music to watching the sunset. Then for the next week commit to doing one of those things everyday. Deal? Go to my Facebook page and post your your successes!
9 Comments
Sweetie, you are brilliant!! Thank you – this much I can do!
This is great information and you’re right, it’s often overlooked in today’s hustle and bustle. Thanks for this!!
@Trece thank you! i’m glad you enjoyed it. i got your message and will add you to the RSS feed once the transfer to the new site is done! looking forward to hearing how your week goes.
@Amy: thanks for taking the time to read it and comment. writing the post was a good reminder to myself too:-)
YES! Very very true.
To me self-care means eating tons of energising food that is good for my body – fruit, veg, water, green tea, fish, nuts and seeds – making fun exercise part of my life, having good times and strong relationships with my family and friends, getting enough sleep, dressing in a way that makes me feel awesome and working on my goals and dreams.
The healthy diet thing is probably the most important (see Steve Pavlina’s "start with your health" article!) – making your body and mind work at it’s very best affects every aspect of the rest of your life – your energy, moods, motivation, wellness and confidence.
Actually sticking to the self-care is the hardest thing – it really needs to be programmed in, repeated over and over and over, to become a way of life
@Drumbellina Exactly! Sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up for having an "off" day or week, we never get back into the routine of self-care. I like to keep it simple and just think: "how can i be kind to myself today?"
i like your website,by the way, very nice!
Amen!
sister, i’m just finding your page via oyin handmade and can’t thank you enough for sharing this wisdom. self-care has to become a lifestyle and it’s about learning how to become a human being as opposed to a human doing … running ourselves absolutely ragged in the name of “making things happen.” we have to learn that change, progress, and growth happen over time. when we look at our ancestors’ lives and legacies, we see that their accomplishments took time to manifest and they built those legacies and institutions brick by brick by brick. let us first know what it means to practice “maitri” or lovingkindness to ourselves .. then and only then will it organically and naturally flow others.
in peace and maitri,
angel
@angel welcome! i love this: “it’s about learning how to become a human being as opposed to a human doing …” so true! people often say: you need to love yourself – but we don’t break down what that really means. to me it’s about learning to be kind to ourselves. and keep ourselves so full, so that we’re giving from our overflow, you know?
Ije, I love you girl. Thank you for keeping yourself so full that you got overflow to share with us!
hey vero! thanks for stopping by mama! sending you love and hugs. what are you doing to keep yourself full these days?
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[...] IU: Please finish the following prompts: Money is…a tool. it’s a means, not the end. Self care is…vital. it’s what makes life really rich. Freedom is…love. IU: Where can people [...]